And I used to think that I was very horny a lot of the time. Your stories challenge my personal scale of “very horny” and “a lot of the time”. Which is a helpful insight.
Being a woman, I multitask and can handle multiple things concurrently - so I can be horny or thinking about sex, while at the same time, pasting a picture of a volcano onto some construction paper for my daughter's science report.
Seriously though, up until maybe 4 years ago, I would consider my libido pretty low.
I was "reasonably" contented with below-average sex once a week with my husband and even in university, my sex life was kind of boring.
Then, something sparked in me. I think looking back on it, there was a confluence of events. I was stressed, orgasms released stress, I had my first IUD inserted around that time and maybe it changed my hormonal balance.
Now, I could have sex daily and maybe even more. There simply isn't a day that goes by where I am not interested in sex.
[aside from erupting volcanoes, other acceptable multitasking scenarios include: inserting hot dogs into buns or building tracks for trains to drive into tunnels]
As with all good writing, yours provokes the question of my own experience through my lens.
I’ve previously considered myself as a real horn bag: thinking about sex all the time and just feeling like I could do it with anyone appropriately attractive when convenient.
But I’ve found that casual sex really falls short of the terrifically awesome sex that can accompany hot emotional intimacy. To the point where I’d rather leave off any kind of casual sex ... a more involved form of masturbation with another human (maybe not so known ;)
The mistake in the comment you made is that "casual" sex and emotional intimacy are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Beth is not interested in leaving her relationship. She adores her children and husband. That does not mean that she cannot "get" someone other than her husband and have a sexual relationship with them in an emotionally connected way. Sexual intimacy does not require a live-in or partnered relationship. It might be fleeting. However it does produce a long term connection.
Beth simply chooses to "go home" to her husband and children. I do the same. I never had the "hall pass", now have less freedom than I did for various reasons and have to be more careful than Beth, but I still have a rich "other" life. We both know that our issues will not be resolved through separation/divorce.
Sex and marriage are not exclusive in the real world.
I have been through similar sexual issues as her, with differing causes and have found over time that I have no interest in destroying my family life to be with someone else. I have 3 (older) children whom I adore and we are a loving family.
What I have is far too valuable to give I up for the sort of sexual intimacy and pleasure that I need, my wife has not been able provide for some time and is available to most people who are open to it.
We have in common the unresolved issue of complete transparency with our spouses. However in both cases they are intelligent people who both trust their spouse but know that there is a gap in sexual fulfilment.
Strangely they are both now lawyers whom we met at Uni, although I met my through a mutual friend :).
People busted having sexual relationships outside their marriage in a city of 5 million people are either careless, very unluckly, stupid or want to get caught. Beth is none of these and I hope that applies to me also.
This is not meant to denigrate your input. However, unless one is in a long term marriage/relationship with a great person that produces children, shared experiences and happiness, one does not understand the agony/dilemma of a major mismatch in sex drives.
It is how one deals with issues like this, without hurting others, that defines one's life.
I’m not making general statements about the interplay between casual sex and emotional intimacy. Only my experience. Because all generalisations are dangerous ;)
It’s helpful to understand the different experiences of others and see through another’s eyes.
Yes, we braided our hair, we had sleepy cuddles, and they drifted off to sleep a few hours ago. Now I'm lying in bed, in the dark, with sore hands and arms. LOL. I should go to sleep rather than play around on the internet.
I so identify with the immediate postponement of intimate assignations because one needs to be at the side of one’s offspring 😊 I’m glad all of you had a good time. And dial down that screen on your brain at night 😉 #meaculpa
And I used to think that I was very horny a lot of the time. Your stories challenge my personal scale of “very horny” and “a lot of the time”. Which is a helpful insight.
Being a woman, I multitask and can handle multiple things concurrently - so I can be horny or thinking about sex, while at the same time, pasting a picture of a volcano onto some construction paper for my daughter's science report.
Seriously though, up until maybe 4 years ago, I would consider my libido pretty low.
I was "reasonably" contented with below-average sex once a week with my husband and even in university, my sex life was kind of boring.
Then, something sparked in me. I think looking back on it, there was a confluence of events. I was stressed, orgasms released stress, I had my first IUD inserted around that time and maybe it changed my hormonal balance.
Now, I could have sex daily and maybe even more. There simply isn't a day that goes by where I am not interested in sex.
[aside from erupting volcanoes, other acceptable multitasking scenarios include: inserting hot dogs into buns or building tracks for trains to drive into tunnels]
As with all good writing, yours provokes the question of my own experience through my lens.
I’ve previously considered myself as a real horn bag: thinking about sex all the time and just feeling like I could do it with anyone appropriately attractive when convenient.
But I’ve found that casual sex really falls short of the terrifically awesome sex that can accompany hot emotional intimacy. To the point where I’d rather leave off any kind of casual sex ... a more involved form of masturbation with another human (maybe not so known ;)
I feel like such a failed horn bag!
Daniel,
I like the comment about good writing.
The mistake in the comment you made is that "casual" sex and emotional intimacy are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Beth is not interested in leaving her relationship. She adores her children and husband. That does not mean that she cannot "get" someone other than her husband and have a sexual relationship with them in an emotionally connected way. Sexual intimacy does not require a live-in or partnered relationship. It might be fleeting. However it does produce a long term connection.
Beth simply chooses to "go home" to her husband and children. I do the same. I never had the "hall pass", now have less freedom than I did for various reasons and have to be more careful than Beth, but I still have a rich "other" life. We both know that our issues will not be resolved through separation/divorce.
Sex and marriage are not exclusive in the real world.
I have been through similar sexual issues as her, with differing causes and have found over time that I have no interest in destroying my family life to be with someone else. I have 3 (older) children whom I adore and we are a loving family.
What I have is far too valuable to give I up for the sort of sexual intimacy and pleasure that I need, my wife has not been able provide for some time and is available to most people who are open to it.
We have in common the unresolved issue of complete transparency with our spouses. However in both cases they are intelligent people who both trust their spouse but know that there is a gap in sexual fulfilment.
Strangely they are both now lawyers whom we met at Uni, although I met my through a mutual friend :).
People busted having sexual relationships outside their marriage in a city of 5 million people are either careless, very unluckly, stupid or want to get caught. Beth is none of these and I hope that applies to me also.
This is not meant to denigrate your input. However, unless one is in a long term marriage/relationship with a great person that produces children, shared experiences and happiness, one does not understand the agony/dilemma of a major mismatch in sex drives.
It is how one deals with issues like this, without hurting others, that defines one's life.
Thanks, Michael.
I’m not making general statements about the interplay between casual sex and emotional intimacy. Only my experience. Because all generalisations are dangerous ;)
It’s helpful to understand the different experiences of others and see through another’s eyes.
Great comment. I do relate
Another authentic, tight piece ;) But this is what it is being a parent, right? THIS IS SO BEING A PARENT ;)
Thanks, Daniel.
Yes, we braided our hair, we had sleepy cuddles, and they drifted off to sleep a few hours ago. Now I'm lying in bed, in the dark, with sore hands and arms. LOL. I should go to sleep rather than play around on the internet.
I so identify with the immediate postponement of intimate assignations because one needs to be at the side of one’s offspring 😊 I’m glad all of you had a good time. And dial down that screen on your brain at night 😉 #meaculpa