Beth - some elements of this suggest you are suffering from Stockholm syndrome after being held captive by the HR police for too long. I do not think there should be an exceptional amount of empathy expected of someone who has manage people in a Law office.
Firm but fair is best I believe. In the middle of a long day at the office, warm and fuzzy can/will go MIA. That should not be the subject of an HR investigation. The Workplace is where work gets done. A serious profession like Law is not a flop house for well paid snow flakes who view output as secondary to what happens in their lives or after work.
The self-esteem industry has a lot to answer for. Over the last 15 years the "so called" "war for talent" in Law/Banking/Investment Banking/Accounting has seen a lot of precious petals bred and then hired. They can be shockingly difficult to make aware that their work is not Nobel prize standard, and then to move on when they turn out to be bad eggs, or don't work out.
HR departments are culpable in this. They seem so intimidated by wrongful dismissal claims that they almost always take the side of the junior employee against the manager. This might have happened to you this morning.
Don't get me started on flakey complaints about inappropriate behavior by junior females. I took a junior staffer interstate and overseas on a few roadshows/business trips some time ago. More than once she wore the most revealing blouse possible to dinner with clients, such that they ribbed me for months after about whether that was part of a plan to win the business. However when we got back after one trip, she reported me to HR because I said to her in an off hand manner after said dinner - "you used to live in this town, do you want to show me the dive pubs you used to hang out in at Uni". Watch out for that one.
When in Banking I moved on one guy who couldn't do the job, became disruptive when I wouldn't put him in an origination role, had faked his resume and after all that HR ended up paying him 3 months extra as compensation, out of my profit centre, when he made a complaint for wrongful dismissal. He should have been prosecuted for resume fraud.
Another guy I moved on for similar reasons. Probable fake resume, wasn't up to it, using corporate card for personal expenses and so on. He made a complaint and I was investigated when he should have been prosecuted for stealing and looked at for resume fraud.
I have a ex-Plumber mate who sold his business and went into Retail Banking because he got burned out by having to deal with the personal problems of his staff - 19 in all.
The truth is Beth, with this HR shit you can't win. Be grateful for what you have become. I can't imagine a more attractive or together woman. Being a Partner is a Law Firm at 38/39 would be enough for most people. There is much more to you as well.
I hope the associates heed their call to action. Life catches up with the duds after a while. The 2 guys I moved on never worked again in Banking/Investment Banking. It will be the same with B19 and the gamer if they don't get it together.
I hope the asian lady gave you a massive orgasm or two. I love that you get happy ending massages from another woman. My LMT is no prude, but she and most I know would sooner die than touch another woman intimately. BTW - do females have to tip for a Happy Ending from a masseuse, or is it just us guys?
Gotta go - I have an HR review in 11 days and I need to prepare my appraisal of me.
OMG - This is brilliant on so many levels.
Beth - some elements of this suggest you are suffering from Stockholm syndrome after being held captive by the HR police for too long. I do not think there should be an exceptional amount of empathy expected of someone who has manage people in a Law office.
Firm but fair is best I believe. In the middle of a long day at the office, warm and fuzzy can/will go MIA. That should not be the subject of an HR investigation. The Workplace is where work gets done. A serious profession like Law is not a flop house for well paid snow flakes who view output as secondary to what happens in their lives or after work.
The self-esteem industry has a lot to answer for. Over the last 15 years the "so called" "war for talent" in Law/Banking/Investment Banking/Accounting has seen a lot of precious petals bred and then hired. They can be shockingly difficult to make aware that their work is not Nobel prize standard, and then to move on when they turn out to be bad eggs, or don't work out.
HR departments are culpable in this. They seem so intimidated by wrongful dismissal claims that they almost always take the side of the junior employee against the manager. This might have happened to you this morning.
Don't get me started on flakey complaints about inappropriate behavior by junior females. I took a junior staffer interstate and overseas on a few roadshows/business trips some time ago. More than once she wore the most revealing blouse possible to dinner with clients, such that they ribbed me for months after about whether that was part of a plan to win the business. However when we got back after one trip, she reported me to HR because I said to her in an off hand manner after said dinner - "you used to live in this town, do you want to show me the dive pubs you used to hang out in at Uni". Watch out for that one.
When in Banking I moved on one guy who couldn't do the job, became disruptive when I wouldn't put him in an origination role, had faked his resume and after all that HR ended up paying him 3 months extra as compensation, out of my profit centre, when he made a complaint for wrongful dismissal. He should have been prosecuted for resume fraud.
Another guy I moved on for similar reasons. Probable fake resume, wasn't up to it, using corporate card for personal expenses and so on. He made a complaint and I was investigated when he should have been prosecuted for stealing and looked at for resume fraud.
I have a ex-Plumber mate who sold his business and went into Retail Banking because he got burned out by having to deal with the personal problems of his staff - 19 in all.
The truth is Beth, with this HR shit you can't win. Be grateful for what you have become. I can't imagine a more attractive or together woman. Being a Partner is a Law Firm at 38/39 would be enough for most people. There is much more to you as well.
I hope the associates heed their call to action. Life catches up with the duds after a while. The 2 guys I moved on never worked again in Banking/Investment Banking. It will be the same with B19 and the gamer if they don't get it together.
I hope the asian lady gave you a massive orgasm or two. I love that you get happy ending massages from another woman. My LMT is no prude, but she and most I know would sooner die than touch another woman intimately. BTW - do females have to tip for a Happy Ending from a masseuse, or is it just us guys?
Gotta go - I have an HR review in 11 days and I need to prepare my appraisal of me.